Yet this time I was a grown elven queen of my own life, and I think he saw that My father had his little “elfie” as he used to call me, once again today. I could feel politics and worldly opinions just melting away into the background…no longer important for either of us.
Happily we even lost our anger over perspectives on politics and focused on what really mattered in our relationship. We even laughed and joked together while I told him about some of life’s new challenges right now. I needed to be firm, but ask him about his life and show that I care even though I don’t want him visiting us unexpectedly any longer, and he understands and was not hurt. Something was very different today…in a good way, because I was more forthcoming. I feel that I did not make excuses for his behavior this time either, but simply rose above the fear and pain today.
I am happy to discover that although he was a very angry man growing up, we still found a way to connect past those painful experiences.
Thank you to the fierce month of August, I was brave in calling him, wanting to heal this disconnect before he left this earth at age 76 now. We had a wonderful talk for two hours about life and spiritual matters…and I am planning on spending a weekend with my family to solidify our new found connection, in the near future. I opened up a new dimension in our father daughter relationship to see me as a mature woman who still wanted connection with her father after much pain and arguments. He simply read it and understood my needs now. I was pleasantly surprised to find my father not mad at all, or silently sulking at my email telling him my boundaries. I finally called today while being outside, feeling confident to talk to him and set boundaries if needed. This worried me a bit, but I bit down my greater fears that I angered him.
I am simply telling him my needs as an individual to follow my own path and heart.Ī week ago I wrote a direct email to him since it would be easier than talking since his hearing is going, and I noticed that he never responded. I am not trying to be the “good daughter” anymore and just let him control me while I suffer emotionally. But this time, not at the cost for my own sense of Self. I have started to heal our relationship slowly. If you read my past posts on emotional and physical abuse, you will see that I was struggling to heal the inner child. I am pleased to share that I have been mending and healing my relationship back together again with my father now. I just wanted to share something that has been working for me, and I hope it may help others mend broken ties between people that they love.
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